Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Fun with PETA

I don't know why, but I just really felt like writing this e-mail to PETA. They didn't respond to my last e-mail asking if it was OK to use the hides of PETA members to make leather, so I don't really expect to hear back from them.

Dear PETA,

As acting commissioner of the NDFA (National Dog Fighting Association), I am displeased with your smear campaign against our organization.

The NDFA is an organization that is deeply rooted in the strong traditions that are highly regarded by many in this country. Dog fighting was first known to exist within the early protestant church as a representation of the ongoing battle between righteousness and depravity inside all mankind. Then, 200 years ago, the spectator sport of dog fighting was first introduced in this country by our forefathers Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson as a more humane substitute to the Negro fighting that was, at that time, enjoyed by many slave owners. In later years, President Abraham Lincoln praised the early form of the NDFA for reducing the abuses of slave owners, and for continuing the American spirit to fight to the end for what they believe is right. During WWII, the NDFA used it’s expertise in training animals for the service of the US army in their fight against the Nazi regime. Since then, dog fighting has become a symbol of the life, liberty and happiness that our forefathers fought so hard to secure for all freedom loving Americans.

As a spokesperson for true Americans, Veterans, faithful Christians, and Civil Rights activist everywhere; I can declare that the recent smear campaign against the NDFA is a clear indication of the hidden satanic, racist and communist motives of PETA. While you at PETA may appear to be helping animals, this is apparently just a front for your campaign against American values, Civil Rights, and the word of God that declared man’s dominion over all animals. This declaration is supported by the following report from the Journal of the American Medical Association. In a John’s Hopkins University study, it was found that people who didn’t eat sufficient amounts of animal protein would be stricken with a mild form a mental retardation that would prevent them from having a firm grasp of ephemeral concepts such as Freedom, Heaven, and God given rights.

So it is with my support from Christians, Civil Rights Activist, Veterans and the Medical community that I write this letter of condemnation to the PETA organization.

J.R. “Bob” Downs

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Top 10 Little Known Things About London

It’s apparently illegal to sit down in public within Central London as there are virtually no park benches, and any other place where you could sit has metal spikes mounted to it.

There is a reason why the British haven’t taken over the American Automotive market like the Japanese have; because their cars are crap.

Any Londoner you meet is more likely to be from France, Spain or The Middle East rather than from the UK.

Even though British beer makers should be rebuked for making cruddy tasting beer, they should also be praised for making it with like double the alcoholic content.

Contrary to popular belief, Londoners do not stop everything at noon and drink tea... they actually have tea at 3.

African Americans have nothing on the British when it comes to plating things with gold.

Some places serve fish with the scales still on it.

They don’t have English Muffins in England.

For a city with such an extensive public transportation system, you sure have to walk some great distances to get to everything.

Real English people don’t sound anything like the Monty Python guys

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