Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The Latest E-mail

I went to the WBC website today and noticed something odd. Fred Phelps started adding commentaries to the letters he receives that he posts on his blog. See it here: http://blogs.sparenot.com/index.php/fred7/ It is very similar to the way I have been putting commentaries in his e-mail responses that I post on my blog. I am sure that is coincidence...right? Well at any rate, here is the latest e-mail I sent.
Dear Rev. Fred Phelps,

As a God fearing man, and as a believer in your preaching, I must point out the Err of your ways! While you are correct in what you preach. May the world be damned with its evil homosexual ways and out right lies! “The LORD [sees] how great man's wickedness on the earth [is], and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart [is] only evil all the time”; Gen 3:4-6. We must condemn the world for it is soiled with the fecal matter of sodomy. “Any bed [these men] lie on will be unclean, and anything [they sit] on will be unclean”; Leviticus 15:3-5. My dear Rev. Phelps, I must inform you that God does not command us to complain about these sinful people with simple signs, but He commands us to eliminate all these evil people from the face of the Earth. “If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads”; Leviticus 20:12-14. To be exalted we must be the right hand of God! As the hands and feet of God we must do the work of God. “Exalted to the right hand of God, he [as well as we [have]] received from the Father the promised Holy Spirit and [is] poured out what you now see and hear”; Acts 2:32-34. We were sent here by God to destroy all the evildoers of the world! “I will send destroyers against [the enemy], each man with his weapons, and they will cut up your fine cedar beams and throw them into the fire”; Jeremiah 22:6-8. You and I are therefore called to be the righteous destroyers of the modern day Sodom’s throughout the world! In the same way that God delivered the Kings of many sinful nations into the hands of Joshua, He will also deliver the corrupt leaders of today’s sinful nations into our hands! So join me Rev. Phelps in my quest to lay waste to all sinful nations of this world! I assure you God will deliver the leaders of all sinful nations into our hands if we obey him and go set fire and lay waste to their kingdoms! And as it is written in Deuteronomy 20:4; “For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory." God has promised that he will deliver us victory over our enemies!

Rev. Jeremiah Hellfire
Did I nail the crazy fake reverend impression or what? I want to see if he gets physically agressive after going through the rationalization outlined in this e-mail.


shef said...

Dear Andy,
I think I love you.

Arpeggio Andy said...

Wow! I didn't see that coming after the mildly sexist comment I wrote. Thanks for being so understanding.

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