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- Urf - From See Mike Draw
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- The Offended Blogger
- The Road Lester Traveled
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- St. Vodka of the Martini
- Hollands Comet
- Prefers her fantasy life
- 15 Minute Lunch
- Blog it like you mean it sister!
- Guilty with an Explanation
- Slick and Chuck's Advice Site
- Rock House Blog
- Mattress Police
- A Funny Thing
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Then, I try to go to one of my other favorite blogs on the internet, That Slick Sumbich, but end up finding nothing more than the following message there; "There's nothing more to see, move along you heathens!"
I'm really starting to feel slighted here.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
First, I hope to kick off the year with a few more episodes of Tales from the Possum Hunter for you. Because as the temperatures drop, the more frequently the possums to try to evict Sneaky Pete from his house like some home owner defaulting on his mortgage.
It should also be interesting later in the year as I am planning to have my friend Knowstradamus drop by to share with us some insight into the future.
I have also got some more ideas for the Funny Forums that will hopefully provide us with some funny responses from unsuspecting web surfers.
And of course I am planning to do another beer drinking series like I did last Summer/Fall. Except this time I think it should be more organized and less lengthy. I am thinking the series could be called “Around the World in 80 Beers”.
So, with those plans made, I bid you all farewell until 2009. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
The Bart Simpson Credit Card Scam
I was reminded yesterday of this old telephone number I had that was frequently used by a credit card scammer on some false credit card applications. The guy was also somewhat of comedian because the names were almost as funny as the name Santos L. Halper on Bart Simpson’s card. Usually he used the same double letters in the first and last names when fabricating them. So I would get these phone calls from collections agency’s asking for Gabby Gabbard. Dude, you have got to be kidding me. You mean to tell me that Discover, CitiBank, or some other credit card company actually took this name seriously. The guy absconded with a couple of thousand dollars from each of about three different credit card companies. I estimated he got about $8000 and authorities are still probably trying to find him because they were clueless about the number not being connected to an address in (notice the double letters) Kipssissle, Mississippi.
So I got to thinking, if credit card companies really are this stupid, then why am I still slaving away at a 9 to 5 job like the rest of the working class?
The first part of the scam would be easy. I get credit card applications in the mail all the time. All I got to do is make up several fake identities with names that are at least as believable as Gabby Gabbard, and make sure they are not actual names so there’s no actual person to cause the situation to be mistaken for identity theft which would tip off the credit people. It doesn’t matter if nobody has heard of these people. There are lots of smaller credit card companies, like Discover and Citibank, which give out cards to people with no credit history all the time.
The second part of the scam would not only be a good test of the fake identity, but also a good way to build trust with the credit companies thereby building credit. After Maxing out one fake persons low limit card, pay it off with another fake persons low limit card. Once credit card companies see that the fake people not only max out the cards, but they pay them promptly, the credit people will quickly bump up the limits to about triple of the original limits. I can do this as many times as needed until I end up with a bunch of Gold Cards.
Now granted, by the time the cards were Gold level, I would have to haul some serious butt to hit enough ATM’s to get the money to keep obtaining the money to pass to each card company, but It shouldn’t be unusual to the credit companies at this point to see multiple trips to multiple ATM’s over the course of multiple days. It’s just a gradual increase each time.
I figure if I get up to about a $500,000 limit on 10 cards, then I can get about $15,000 worth of cash withdraw limit from each. That would mean I would have a maximum of $150,000 in cash and $4,850,000 of charging power at my disposal. That should be plenty to cover the expenses of anything I want. As long as everyone gets their money in a timely manner nobody will expect anything. Then I can live off the difference between one cards limit and another cards limit. If I never spent more than 10% of a cards limit per month or 5% less than standard 15% interest just to be safe, then I would never have trouble. By the time the cards get up to $500,000 limit, I could spend $50,000 per month. I calculate that it would take 5 years for 2 cards alternating, so 10 cards together would work for 25 years.
I can’t live a whole life like this, but I could have a much better retirement from this than from the NOTHING that I expect to get from Social Security.
The last part of the plan is the hardest. I have to grow a sack of balls big enough to actually try this.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
So the last couple weeks were just a futile attempt to get something better than I already got. You would think this would bother me, but it doesn’t because I know that people do things that are much more futile. You know, like teaching kids discipline with “Time Out” or preaching deliverance through that Jehovah’s Witness’ cult, but I digress.
So, I’m just gonna play things cool like nothing ever happened, and resume posting blog entries here.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Now that this is back in order, I can leave it and go find a site that unlike Blogger will support mobile blogging via a BlackBerry because it kind-of sucks trying to do a Mobile blog on one that is not meant to be.
Watch this space for updates on the new site. I should probably have the new mobile blog up and running by the end of the weekend.
Thanks for hanging in there folks. (assuming any of you are still there)
Thursday, November 6, 2008
All conditioned things are impermanent. Work out your own salvation with diligence - The Buddha's last words.
I've got this problem. It appears that without the props of the full sized multimedia blog that I am unable to think of anything funny. Yep, apparently I'm the Carrot Top of the blog world.
I am, of course, going to have to fix this because I am definitely not the type of person who can write one of those blogs that is just an outlet for complaining.
My first option is to loosen up a little on the media restrictions I have placed on this blog. My second option is to change the theme again because apparently the deep Zen thoughts are not conducive to the humor I aspire to write.
So hang on kids. Things are about to change again.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
After today,11/5/08, there will be 75 days left before the worst president in US history* leaves the white house. The beginning of that end doesn't seem to be getting here quick enough.
*-Some may argue that James Buchanan was the worst, but clearly Bush is because he has not only screwed up the country, but also much of the world.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
The important thing to remember about any election is that no matter what the politician says, they are just lying. So even if your candidate doesn't win, it really doesn't matter. I mean its not like the other side will get what they were promised either.
So, I know what you're thinking. Why even bother voting?
Simple. So we don't end up with some goof ball like Ralph Nader as president.
So you're probably wondering that if both viable candidates are liars anyway, then what's the difference who I vote for.
And the answer is, you want to vote for a vice presidential wang. That's right. The most pressing issue today is clearly the united states vice president's diplomatic relations with Iran since fixing: the economy, health care system, social security system, tax reform, national debt, and trade deficit will be a waste of time if Iran just ends up annihilating us with a nuclear attack.
So what does Joe Biden's wang have to with this? Simple. Condeleza Rice has already proven that a womens efforts over there are absolutely futile since the towel heads still consider women to be more like property than like people. Which means that if we expect McCain's MILF to talk the Iranians out nukeing us, then it will definitely end up bad for everyone. So in other words, Joe Biden's wang can save the world from a nuclear holocaust. I bet it can also pronounce the word nuclear better than the retard that lives in the White House.
So therefore, let me make this last minute campaign stump before todays voting. Vote Joe Biden's wang for vice president. Unfortunately the anti-christ has to be voted in as president at the same time. But at least this way we can enter into the end times as a country that doesn't glow in the dark. Well, my thumbs are starting to hurt so I better stop this.
Your sensei has spoken.
Friday, October 31, 2008
You sensei has spoken.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Your Sensei has spoken.
Monday, October 27, 2008
What does this mean for readers?
It means I'm going to simplify the page layout because it takes way too much time to load in it's current form. Goodbye large banner. Goodbye sidebar. And of course, goodbye unnecessary images.
Since everything else is changing I figure I should also change the name of this blog. I am kicking around some ideas for a name, and I am pretty sure it will reference the sore thumbs I get from all this texting of posts.
So, the next time you hear from me, this will be a new blog.
Weird Warped Andy signing off.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Wow, so I guess that’s it for the Beer Odyssey. Even though there were 3000 readers at last check who may read this at the very moment it’s posted, it just feels so lonely. I’m sad that it’s over.
So, have you wondered what became of all the empty bottles? Check this out!
Do you know that Green Day song, “Time of Your Life”? Well, it has been going through my head all day long; so many times in fact that I was able to rewrite the lyrics.
Time of Your Life (The Beer Odyssey Mix)
Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.
The odyssey is done;
there’s nowhere else to go.
So make the best of bad taste
and don’t ask why.
It’s not a problem,
you just add a slice of lime.
It’s just been so incredible
to gain this beer insight.
I hope you had the time of your life.
So take the beer mug,
and the bottles left behind
Place them on a shelf
to display over time
Tap brews and breweries
and friends in the beer aisle
For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.
It’s just been so incredible
to gain this beer insight.
I hope you had the time of your life.
It’s just been so incredible
to gain this beer insight.
I hope you had the time of your life.
Well Beer Heads, I guess this is it. The only thing left to do is to raise a toast.
To Iron Chef the one who’s taken up with all of my crap during this journey through beerdom. As well as, to Icehouse, Grand Tetons, Danapalooza, The Professor, Sam Adams, Monka, and all the rest of the B.R.E.W. (Beer Reviewing Enthusiats of the World) crew out there who kept the odyssey from being a lonely trip.
May the road rise to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face.
May the rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of His hand.
Day 100 – Rock Bottom
Today Beer Heads we are drinking The Rock Bottom’s specially crafted Crosley Field Pale Ale. Named of course after the Reds former home Crosley Field. This is a great beer. They say it's malty, but I don't really taste it, but maybe, I have had to much too drink. Nah!
We've also decided to try some of their other varieties.
Cincinnati American Light: It's light, crisp, and very cold. Iron chef likes this one alot.
White Tiger Wheat: It's got some mild cloves. Iron Chef says it's very orange-y with maybe some bananas.
Maibock: Wow! It's very pleasant. Iron Chef says she detects some fruity essence to it, almost like a mead wine. She says that if only this weren't a seasonal, she would make this her new favorite.
Pumpkin Ale: Iron Chef says it's very pleasing. It's all about the pumpkin flavor and less about the spice like most pumpkin brews.
Tall Stacks Ale: We were thinking this was an amber, but it turns out that it's more of a "light" dark beer.
The Rock Bottom also has a rotating dark beer ale. Tonight, Iron Chef's curiosity proved to be a good thing. Our server. Michael, sensing that she needed a warmer for the road, has brought her a small sample of the current dark. It just happens to Dry Irish Stout. Have I told you that she loves everything Irish? Now she'll definitely be singing the praises of Rock Bottom Brewery. She says it was very, very good. She can taste the dark chocolate notes in it.
And these recognizable home town favorites are great to drink after coming back from a fictitious trip around the world where you've logged in reviews about all kinds of different beers. Which reminds me, I’ve gotta add this last one to the big list I’ve been keeping of all the beers I’ve drank on my Beer Odyssey. Here we go, “Number 100”, “Rock Bottom”. “And I think I will rate it an 8”.
The Big Beer List
1 Koningshoeven (Belgium) 8
2 Hoegaarden (Belgium) 8
3 Trappistes Rochefort (Belgium) 9
4 Stella Artois (Belgium) 2
5 Kasteel Rouge (Belgium) 8
6 Sterkens Dubbel (Belgium) 7
7 Amstel Light (Holland) 5
8 Grolsch (Holland) 4
9 Carlsberg Elephant(Denmark) 1
10 Franziskaner Weissbier (Germany) 8
11 Hofbrau (Germany) 9.5
12 Auecht Schlenkerla Ur Bock (Germany) 2
13 Hacker Pschorr (Germany) 7
14 Ayinger (Germany) 6.5
15 Lowenbrau (Germany) 2
16 Warsteiner (Germany) 8
17 St. Pauli Girl (Germany) 8
18 Beck's (Germany) 4
19 Paulaner Salvator (Germany) 7
20 Spaten Optimator (Germany) 7
21 Bitburger (Germany) 5
22 Krusovice (Czech Republic) 3.5
23 Okocim (Poland) 4
24 Kalnapilis (Lithuania) 5
25 Magnat (Ukraine) 7
26 Baltika (Russia) 6
27 Red East (Russia) 4
28 Tsingtao (China) 5
29 Asahi (Japan) 8
30 Kirin Ichiban (Japan) n/a
31 "33" Export (Vietnam) 5
32 Singha (Thailand) 4
33 Tiger (Singapore Malaysia) 4
34 Steinlager (New Zealand) 0
35 James Boags (Tasmania) n/a
36 Coopers Wattle Seed (Australia) 4
37 Fosters (Australia) 6
38 Baron's Black Wattle Seed (Australia) n/a
39 Tusker (Kenya) 4
40 Maharaja (India) 5
41 Marathon (Greece) 7
42 Moretti (Italy) 6
43 Pietra (Corsica) 5
44 Kronenbourg (France) 5
45 Old Engine Oil (England) n/a
46 Whitbread (England) n/a
47 Samuel Smith's (England) n/a
48 Monty Pythons Holy (Gr)ail (England) n/a
49 Fuller's London Pride (England) 9
50 The Hoppy Otter (England) 7
51 Wychcraft (England) 7
52 Melbourn Brothers (England) 6
53 Manchester Star (England) 7
54 Young's (England) 6
55 Old Peculiar (England) n/a
56 St. Peter's Golden (England) 9
57 Old Speckled Hen (England) 7
58 Skull Splitter (Scotland) 7
59 Traquair Jacobite (Scotland) 7
60 Tennents (Scotland) 4
61 Beamish (Ireland) 6
62 Guinness Extra Stout (Ireland) 7
63 Guinness (Ireland) 9
64 Harp Lager (Ireland) 5
65 Smithwicks (Ireland) 6
66 Murphy's (Ireland) 7
67 O'Hara's (Ireland) 7
68 Quilmes (Argentina) 5
69 Dos Equis Ambar (Mexico) 7
70 Carta Blanca (Mexico) 6
71 Negra Modelo (Mexico) 8
72 Tecate (Mexico) 4
73 Pacifico (Mexico) 1
74 Red Stripe (Jamaica) 4
75 Carib (Caribbean) 3
76 Moosehead (Canada) 5
77 Molson (Canada) 6
78 Labatt (Canada) n/a
79 Bell's (Michigan) 4
80 Goose Island (Illinois) 7
81 Sprecher (Sprecher) 7
82 Shock Top (Missouri) 8
83 Pyramid (Washington) 7
84 Rogue (Oregon) 5
85 Anchor Steam Beer (California) N/A
86 Hebrew (California) 7
87 Breckenridge Agave Wheat (Colorado) 3
88 Flying Dog (Doggy Style) (Colorado) 7
89 Tommyknocker Butt Head (Idaho) 7
90 Shiner Bock (Texas) 4
91 Dixie (Lousiana) 8
92 Mississippi Mud (Mississippi) 2
93 Horse Piss Beer (Kentucky) 3
94 Dogfish Head 90 Min. IPA (Delaware) N/A
95 Pete's Wicked Straw. Blonde (NY) 5
96 Samuel Adams (Massachusetts) 10
97 Merry Monks (Pennsylvania) 9.5
98 Old Leghumper (Akron, Ohio) 7
99 Great Lakes Ed. Fitz. (Cleveland, Ohio) 5
100 Rock Bottom (Cincinnati, Ohio) 8
Look out Beer Heads! Were coming at you *LIVE* from the Rock Bottom Brewery in Downtown Cincinnati, Ohio. The party is just now getting into full swing, so come on in and have a seat at the table. There’s room for everybody.
This is a great place. Just take a look around. They brew the beer over there in those big tanks.
And then they serve the beer up over here at the bar just a couple of feet away. Let me tell you, the beer doesn’t get any fresher than that.
I hope you don't mind, I took the liberty of ordering us some soft pretzels with cheese because they just go great with beer.
Wow, I can’t believe I’ve finally made it home from the beer odyssey. It really has been a fun and interesting journey as you can see from the map that tracked my progress.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
The president of 'Budweiser' orders a Bud, the president of 'Miller'orders a Miller Lite, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and the list goes on. Then the waitress asks Arthur Guinness what he wants to drink, and much to everybody's amazement, Mr. Guinness orders a Coke!
"Why don't you order a Guinness?" his colleagues ask.
"Naah. If you guys won't drink beer, then neither will I."
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Today Beer Heads I figured since we are drinking Dixie Beer from “Nawlins”, that I would teach you how to cook up a tasty little Ca-jon dish that Iron Chef taught me how to make so-ins I can make dinner some nights too. It’s called Easy Soup Gumbo, and I gar-on-tee you’ll like it. Before we get started I have to confess that I’m not a full fledged Ca-jon, I only half bleed Ca-jon, so this recipe won’t seem as authentic as something from that Emeril guy. But enough about dat, let’s get cookin’.
First, you take 2 cans-o-Progresso Chicken and Rice soup, 1 can-o-broth, and 1 can-o-water, and you throw dat in da pot like so.
After dat, you take a packet-o-Old El Paso taco seasoning, and stir dat into da soup real good. Ooh-wee dats some spi-cey stuff. I can really smell da chili powder in dat packet.
Then, you crank up da heat until da pot starts to boil.
When da pot is a boilin’, you turn down da heat ans give it a real good stir so-ins it don’t burn to da bottom of da pot. Ooh, I can smell dat soup and seasoning. Dats real nice.
Now you gotta open a bag of boil-in-bag style-o-rice and pour dat into da pot.
This is also a good time to put in da meat part of da gumbo. I like to put in some slices of Kielbasa sausage.
Then let da whole thing just simmer for about a half hour or so.
You know it’s done when it’s a nice thick, moist con-sistency. Serve it up in a bowl nice an hot. Ooh-wee, dats good. You gon-love it! I gar-on-tee
You know what would go good with this Easy Soup Gumbo? Some Dixie Beer, that's what. Dixie is a real good beer, and I'm not just a whistlin' Dixie either. Iron Chef said it had a clean smell, a crisp taste and was generally pleasant. She described it as a "spiked wheat tea". The only complaint she could possibly make is that it's taste was rather plain. This smooth easy drinking beer from 'the big easy' is easily an 8 on the beer scale.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Do you know what was wrong with those Branch Davidians from Waco? They were located in the wrong part of Texas. See, if only they had come a few miles south to Shiner, they could have holed up in the local brewery, and then passed off their cult as the worlds longest running private Oktoberfest, and no one would have thought twice about it. Seriously, if you lock yourself in a compound with Bibles and guns, people think you’re insane. But, if you lock yourself inside a compound with beer, then people just think you’re a fraternity. Because quite frankly, the crazy rants, exclusivity, and sexual imprudence could be expected from either group. And beer is one of the key elements that set them apart. So I propose that in 10 days when the beer odyssey is unfortunately over, that all of us Beer Heads relocate to Shiner Texas and start our own cult. We can call ourselves "The Fundamentalist Trappist Church" and focus our beliefs on just the beer making part of the Trappist Monk practices. So, who’s with me!?!
In the mean time let's enjoy this Shiner Bock. It's not much of a beer, but it will do for today. The flavor and smell are odd. I can't figure them out. Iron Chef said the smell was musty, and that it didn't go good with the hot sauce she just ate. I think I will rate this a 4 on the beer scale.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Day 89 - Tommyknocker Butt Head Beer
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Today Beer Heads we are in Breckenridge Colorado drinking the local brew pubs Agave Wheat beer. This is a very strange beer that has a rather sharp taste to it. From the name, I was expecting it to be tequila or margarita flavored, but instead it was a little cider-y. Iron Chef said it had a pungent aroma and the flavor was vinegar-y. I don't really like it, and wouldn't recommend it. I will rate it a 3 on the beer scale.
Friday, October 10, 2008
I accidentally got some moisture inside my BlackBerry. OK, you caught me; I spilled beer in my BlackBerry. But, that’s not necessarily the problem. The issue is, in order for me to remove the back plate so I can get to the inside of the keyboard to scrap the expected corrosion off the keys; I need this little tiny torx head screwdriver. It’s not bad enough that torx head screws and the drivers used to assemble them are relatively uncommon, but one this size is especially rare. Moreover, I can’t even do a hillbilly stunt like using another tool that’s close enough to the shape of the torx head socket because torx head screws are used in situations where a lot of torque is needed, and therefore trying to unscrew them without having the screwdriver head seated against all sides of the socket will result in stripping it out.
So I get the bright idea to go to a wireless store to see if they got one of these screwdrivers I can buy. Makes sense right? They sell phones, so they should have stuff to fix them. Nope, the salesman tells me that you’re not supposed to fix your cell phone if something happens to it; you’re supposed to buy a new one. So I think, OK I understand where he’s coming from. He wants the commission from selling me a new phone. So I go to Target to see if maybe they have random junk related to cell phones, and again I’m told that you don’t fix cell phones, you replace them.
Now this concept mildly blows my mind because these BlackBerrys can be really expensive, and from what I read, they also need regular maintenance in the form of cleaning behind the keys. You gotta admit this is totally stupid because it’s the equivalent of buying a car, and then 3 months later taking it to the dealer for an oil change only to have the dealer tell you that you can’t maintain the car, you have to buy a new one. Seriously, that's just crazy.
Detour #2 – Bush has 100 days left in office on 10/11/08
I am really dismayed at this fact. It really seems like there should be a lot less days.
Come now Beer Heads. Have a seat in the pews and listen to today’s scripture reading. Turn with me now to the book of Denominations, chapter 1, verse 1 as we hear the following passage read to us by the ghost of Charlton Heston.
[Charlton Heston’s ghost clears throat and reads] “In the beginning, the world was an empty, beer less place. Sobriety was spread across the surface like darkness while the Spirit hovered over it. And God spoketh and said, “Let there be beer,” and there was beer. God saw that the beer was good and so He separated the tasty, full bodied beer from the bad tasting, pee water. The tasty beer He called Belgium, the pee water beer He called Macro brew Lager. For God wanted it to be known that He so loved the world that He gaveth it beer to make the suck-y parts of life not so suck-y, and the fun parts even more fun.”
[Beer Heads throw hands in the air and yell] "Hallelujah!"
“[Charlton Heston’s ghost continues] And that beer heads is why we should bow our heads and say grace before every beer we drinketh. In order to thank the Lord for the beer He giveth…Amen”
Hebrew Beer is a unique amber-like bitter. It' flavor is a little caramel-y, and a little nutty. Iron Chef said it smelled sweet like maybe a grape-like aroma. She said it ain't all that, and should only be rated a 6 on the beer scale. Whereas I say; "Crucify that non-beleiver! This is the ale that the proephecies have predicted is 'The Chosen Ale' and should at least be a 7."
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
I tried all day to think of something funny to write in this post, but I was unsuccessful. So, I will just tell you that the Brutal Bitter isn't as hard to take as the name suggests. This isn't my favorite beer, but it's not bad. Iron Chef said it was hop-y, yeast-y, and had an unexpected sweetness to it. I agree, and will rate it a 5 on the beer scale.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Well Beer Heads, metaphorically speaking, we’ve finally come to America.
Today we are at the former Kalamazoo Brewery in Kalamazoo Michigan drinking Bell’s Pale Ale. The name of the Brewery was changed to Bell’s in 2005 since most people referred to it by the name of it’s founder, Larry Bell. Incidentally, if none of the variety of Bell’s beers excites you, then you could go across town to the Kalamazoo headquarters of Pfizer for some Viagra.Bell’s is an OK beer. It’s a little hoppy with some yeast-y and citrus-y tastes in the flavor. Iron Chef said it wasn't horrible, but...it would do in a pinch. I will rate it a 4 on the beer scale.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Le jour 78 - Labatt Bleu Pilsner
(Day 78 - Labatt Blue Pilsner)
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Hey you hosers! Today we're in Canada eh, drinking Moosehead Beer. It's brewed in St. John's New Brunswick, up here in the great white north eh, Canada that is. Yeah, this is a pretty good eh, especially since there's not a mouse in the bottle or anything. It may not taste as good as Elsinore beer, but it does have a nice crisp taste to it. Iron Chef said it was citrus-y, and I thought it was pretty decent after the skunk smell from the bottle goes away. That would make it like at least 5 on the beer scale eh.
Now gimme a beer you knob.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Today beer heads, we are in Puerto Rico drinking a beer whose name was derived from the same place as the Caribbean Islands. Early explorers found the island Carib (which is now called Grenada) filled with a native people that practiced a ritualistic form of cannibalism. As this was the first society discovered to partake in the eating (but not ingesting) of human flesh, the word cannibal was derived from the Carib word Kanbna meaning "person". Even though the Carib people still live in various parts of South America and the Caribbean Islands, the last known speakers of Island Carib died out in the 1920's.
Today, many people around the Caribbean Islands enjoy Carib beer. However, I am not particularly enjoying it. It's a little skunky smelling, very watery, and rather cheap tasting. Maybe this beer would taste better while sitting on a sandy beach or maybe it would compliment a heapin' helping of human flesh, but by itself, it's really not even a 4, so I will rate it a 3 on the beer scale.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Day 71 - The Good: Negra Modelo
A Beer with a dark amber color. Not overly sweet and heavy like some dark malty beers. It may have a faint hint of caramel in the flavor which I like. It's great taste proves that there are two types of beers in the world my friend, those that that you can totally dig and those that aren't Negra Modelo. I will rate this an 8.
Day 72 - The Bad: Tecate
I'm not too impressed with it. It's very watery and has a little bit of funny taste to it. It doesn't have enough flavor to cover a taste of metal, maybe of the equipment used to make it. I will rate this a 4 because it proves that there are two types of beer in the world my friend, those that taste like metal and those that are the next best thing to having a rope around your neck.
Day 73 - The Ugly: Pacifico
I started to pour it out because I thought it smelled a little moldy or something. But then I thought, hey I got to at least try a small sip just too say I tried it, and maybe the smell is just me. [two seconds after drinking] Oh my God this is nasty! Even though the mold smell was just my imagination, this is still horrible tasting beer. I rating it a 1 and pouring it out because it proves that there are two types of beer in this world my friend, those that don't taste very good and those that you would only drink at gun point.
Viva La Cerveza!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Today Beer Heads we find ourselves in Mexico drinking another of my favorite brands of beer, Dos Equis. According to the beer bottle history, this beer was crafted in 1897 to commemorate the XX Century. Iron Chef got this particular type of Dos Equis because she thought the Ambar would taste Oh-so-delicious. For the most part she was right. When it comes to Mexican Beer you can't go wrong with Dos Equis. It may not be the Hofbrau's Amber, but it's still a good quality, highly drinkable beer. I could try to describe something special about the flavor, but really, it's just an amber beer. I will rate this one 7 on the beer scale.
Viva La Cerveza!