Come now Beer Heads. Have a seat in the pews and listen to today’s scripture reading. Turn with me now to the book of Denominations, chapter 1, verse 1 as we hear the following passage read to us by the ghost of Charlton Heston.
[Charlton Heston’s ghost clears throat and reads] “In the beginning, the world was an empty, beer less place. Sobriety was spread across the surface like darkness while the Spirit hovered over it. And God spoketh and said, “Let there be beer,” and there was beer. God saw that the beer was good and so He separated the tasty, full bodied beer from the bad tasting, pee water. The tasty beer He called Belgium, the pee water beer He called Macro brew Lager. For God wanted it to be known that He so loved the world that He gaveth it beer to make the suck-y parts of life not so suck-y, and the fun parts even more fun.”
[Beer Heads throw hands in the air and yell] "Hallelujah!"
“[Charlton Heston’s ghost continues] And that beer heads is why we should bow our heads and say grace before every beer we drinketh. In order to thank the Lord for the beer He giveth…Amen”
Hebrew Beer is a unique amber-like bitter. It' flavor is a little caramel-y, and a little nutty. Iron Chef said it smelled sweet like maybe a grape-like aroma. She said it ain't all that, and should only be rated a 6 on the beer scale. Whereas I say; "Crucify that non-beleiver! This is the ale that the proephecies have predicted is 'The Chosen Ale' and should at least be a 7."
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