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"Yeah, hi. My name is Leon Phelps, and to those of you that are uninitiated, I am an expert in the ways of love. I have made love to many fine ladies from the lowliest bus station skank to the classiest most sophisticated, educated, debutant, high society... bus station skank. Allow me to begin today with a small literary piece I have written myself.
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What is love? What is this longing in our hearts for togetherness? Is it not the sweetest flower? Does not this flower of love have the fragrant aroma of fine, fine diamonds? Does not the wind love the dirt? Is not love not unlike the unlikely not it is unlikened to? Are you with someone tonight? Do not question your love. Take your lover by the hand. Release the power within yourself. Your heard me, release the power. Tame the wild cosmos with a whisper. Conquer heaven with one intimate caress. That's right don't be shy. Whip out everything you got and do it in the butt.
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Let's go to the first caller. Hi caller, this is the Ladies Man."
(caller) Yeah, ladies man. What is the best way to show a women I really care about her?
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Uh, yeah, that's easy. Try using the position known as "The Flyin' Doggy Style".
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(caller) That's not really what I meant. I mean should I do something sincere, or something meaningful?
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Uh, yeah caller, I think I know what your problem is here. Yeah, well, you suffer from homo-unerectus. That means your wang is hugeified by men and not by women. [hanging up on the caller] And that concludes today's love advice, now let's hear today's beer review.
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Flying Dog Pale Ale is pretty good. Iron Chef, Grand Tetons, and Icehouse all thought it was good even though it was different from what they are used to. I think it's pretty drinkable, and I will rate it a 7 on the beer scale.
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