Sunday, August 31, 2008

100 Beers in 100 Days - It's Two, Two, Two Posts In One

Day 45 - Old Engine Oil

After 44 days of drinking my way home, I am finally one country closer to home. Today we are at the harviestoun brewery in Alva England drinking what is definitely the best named beer so far. When I first opened it, I wasn’t sure why they called it Old Engine Oil because it didn’t look that black or that thick. I liked the taste even though I usual don’t like thicker ales. Iron Chef said something about the burnt chocolate taste that I can’t remember, but we both thought it was a bit too sweet. After vomiting it up the next morning (apparently you shouldn't mix lager and black ale-who knew?), I understood why they called it Old Engine Oil. The substance that was regurgitated had the exact same color, viscosity, and even smell of burnt oil drained from a ‘79 Volvo. No, seriously, I once had a ‘79 Volvo that burned a lot of oil. I came across an Old Engine Oil haiku that I figured I would post for The Dorky Dad.

wickedly dark taste -
is this a new chocolate
or Old Engine Oil?

Day 46 - Whitbread Pale Ale

On this day Beer Heads we found ourselves in London at the historic Chiswell Street Brewery where we are drinking a beer originated by former Parliament member Samuel Whitbread. The brewery is notable as being one of the first to utilize James Watt’s steam engine technology in 1785. Unfortunately, as a result of last nights events, this beer only tasted like Old Engine Oil Light to me. That was probably just me though because Iron Chef liked it enough to finish 3 bottles of it. She is sleeping right now after not getting much sleep this weekend while camping so I probably shouldn’t wake her up for a review. We will just have to leave that as one of the great mystery’s of the world. Does Sasquatch exist? Does Iron Chef taste cocoa or fruit in Whitbread Pale Ale? The world may never know.

Cheerio Chaps!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

100 Beers in 100 Days - Between The Two Big Hills

Day 44 - Kronenbourg 1664

Today Beer Heads we salute Fraccas and her full cupped friend Olga as the odyssey brings us to Strasbourg France. See beer heads, in France, brew pubs are called Brasseries. And of course I’m the kind of boob that would see that the word brasserie looks like the word brassiere. But, that’s OK because I am learning more in order to keep abreast of the different cultures I have been visiting on the beer odyssey. So now let’s bust open a bottle of Kronenbourg 1664 in honor of our bosom buddies Fraccas and Olga.

Kronenbourg 1664 is another one that’s pretty good if it’s all you got. I am tasting something grassy in it. Iron Chef said she could smell some champaign-y type fruit smell, but that was the only thing she liked about it. I will rate this a 5 on the beer scale.


Wednesday, August 27, 2008

100 Beers in 100 Days - Day 43

Pietra Amber

Today Beer Heads we are on the Mediterranean island of Corsica. I was hoping to make some stupid jokes that referred to that stupid Cheech and Chong movie 'The Corsican Brothers', but I couldn't think of anything. Not even about Trisexuals or the Evil Fuckaire or anything. So, I will just get to the review.

Pietra is an OK beer. We couldn't taste anything resembling the chestnuts that are advertised on the bottle. It had something weird wrong with it. I can't place my finger on it, but there was something odd about the taste. I think I will rate this a 5.


Tuesday, August 26, 2008

100 Beers in 100 Days - When In Rome

Day 42 - Moretti LaRossa Doppio Malto

Today Beer-a Heads we are in-a-da old world of Italy. Da land of-a fine-a wines, of-a-da Mafia, of-a fine-a pasta, of-a historic ruins, and-of-a fine-a wines. But today we-a drink-a something other than a-fine-a wine. We a-drink-a da beer called-a Moretti LaRossa Doppio Malto. Iron-a Chef says it's-a really thick and-a sweet. It is a fine-a amber beer with a good-a carmel flavor to it. I-a give it a 6-a on-a-da beer scale.


Monday, August 25, 2008

100 Beers in 100 days - Going Greek

Day 41 - Marathon Beer

With the close of the 29'th Olympics now finalized, we find ourselves treking towards the Country of the Gods.
Here we are in Athens Greece Beer Heads to drink a beer that harkens back to the first Olympics. Marathon beer is a good tasting beer that I would run 100 miles for. It's got a citrus-y smell and flavor that make it a fine quality lager. Iron Chef liked it, and I do too. I will rate this a 7 on the beer scale. I think that Zeus would have been proud of the Marathon brew.

100 Beers in 100 Days - Travel Log

Hey Beer Heads! It's been a fun 40 days of wandering the globe on this Beer Odyssey. Now that we have been doing this for 40 days, it may be a good time to look bacl at all the places we've been as outlined on the below map.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

100 Beers in 100 Days - Thank You Come Again

Day 40 - Maharaja Pilsner

Today the Beer odyssey brings us to India; A country that exports almost as much curry as it does convenient mart managers. From Calcutta to Bombay and The Ganges to Sri Lanka, you will likely find todays beer; Maharaja Pilsner. This beer had a funny sharp smell, and an aftertaste that left my mouth dry. Iron Chef just said, "It's odd". After making the joke above, it just occured to me that there may be some curry spice in it. That would make sense because curry is abundant there and people there really like the taste of curry. Shoot, there are even Americans who like curry. I for one don't happen to be one of those people so I will rate this one a 4 on the beer scale.

So now go tie one on with all of your humor blogger friends.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

100 Beers in 100 Days - Day 39

Tusker Lager

Today Beer Heads the odyssey brings us to Kenya, the home of east African political unrest and notoriously fast Olympic marathon runners. The beer today is a light crisp lager named Tuskers. It has a pleasant smell, and a mildly drinkable taste, but unfortunately it has a strong chalky aftertaste. Iron Chef said it was an OK beer, and I suppose it is. I will rate this a 5 on the beer scale.

So now go drink a few with all of your blogger friends.

100 Beers in 100 Days - The New Beer Review Panel

Day 38 - Baron's Black Wattle Supreme

What's a wattle, and do I really want to drink something made from it? So Anyways, there is this type of brush from the land down under called a wattle bush that produces these seeds that are hopefully edible. Well, wattle we do if they aren't edible? Because I already bought the beer made from them.

Since there are alot of new people to join me on this virtual gang bang of a beer review, allow me to make all of the proper introductions up front. We've got my brother Dan-a-palooza, his wife The Professor, her sister Monka with her fiance Sam Adams, our friends Icehouse and Grand Tetons, and of course good ol' Iron Chef. From now on this group will be referred to as the Beer Reviewing Enthusiast's of the World or B.R.E.W.

It was kind-of funky, but we all kind-of liked it. It's a good thick beer with a dark amberish color. Iron Chef couldn't immediately identify the aroma of this really obscure spice from the opposite side of the world. I think she was having trouble inventing a new classification for her taste buds. It's Wattle seed. That's what Wattle seed taste like, but of course I can't just describe to all of you traveling the beer odyssey at home that it tastes like Wattle seed. Well, that is unless you are from Australia, and Wattle seed is as common as table salt, then you would know EXACTLY what I meant by that.

Well anyways, Icehouse said it was carmel-y and he liked it enough to drink it, but he wouldn't trade in his Icehouse's for it. While Dan-a-palooza said it reminded him of the dark Warsteiner they serve at Kolping Park when he gets Schitzenfaced at Schutzenfest. I had to agree with him, it reminded me of something I had before, but I couldn't place my finger on it, and I think it WAS that type of Warsteiner.

Monka and Grand Tetons said it was too heavy for them to drink any real amount of. Sam Adams first impression of it was that it had a Sorghum beer taste. Iron Chef agreed with him saying that it was very sweet and molasses-y. He later added that it was much like English Porter, but with a slightly different taste. Grand Tetons said, that she couldn't drink porters. The Professor said it tasted sweet and minty which none of us understood until we looked in her cup and saw that she was drinking Mojito.

So now go tie one on with all of your humor blogging friends

Thursday, August 21, 2008

100 Beers in 100 Days - Day 37


They say it's Australian for Beer, but I couldn't find it in the Australian Slang Dictionary. I did however find 19 other words for beer in Australia. They were: amber fluid, bogan, bottle-o, butcher, coldie, grog, handle, middy, pint, piss, pot, schooner, skul, slab, stubby, tallie, throw-down, tinny, xxxx.

It's an OK Lager that's pretty drinkable. It has more substance than most mass produced beers, but not much. Iron Chef saifd there was a faint skunky smell. I didn't really notice that though. I think I will rate this one a 6 on the beer scale.
So now go tie on a "piss???" and the check in with all of your Humor Blogger friends.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

100 Beers in 100 Days - G'day Mate!

Day 36 - Coopers Sparkling Ale

Today Beer Heads we're in the South Australia city of Adelaide trying Cooper Sparkling Ale. This Australian state was originallt inhabited by Aboriginies, but was eventually serttled by the British and later became the destination of immigrants from, you guessed it, Germany. I goota tell ya Beer Heads, I had higher expectations of this "Sparkling Ale". The name makes it sound like it will be Champaign-like. I didn't know this was one of those beers that had the sediment in it, so I poured the first one straight in the glass. Iron Chef, our friend Grand Tetons, and I all thought it tasted soapy. It was really undrinkable. Then Grand Tetons pointed out that the bottle had instructions that told you to pour the beer so that the sediment stayed in the bottle. So the second glass I tried was actually pretty good. I think we were still affected by the soap taste of the sediment to be able to identify any flavors. I will give this one a 6 on the beer scale.

So now go and tie one on with all of your friends at

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

100 Beers in 100 Days - day 35, GUEST POST! Iron Chef

Day 35 - James Boags

Yes that's right, I'm FINALLY posting my own blog. I hope I don't embarrass Andy. Today fellow beer heads, we have crossed to a tiny/HUGE island off the coast of Australia. OK. How many of you just said in your minds, "let's throw another shrimp on the bar-b". Snap out of it. We have serious critiquing to do. Today we arrived in Tasmania for a brief layover to sample their nectar from the Gods. It's James Boag's beer. I honestly expected it to receive a bronze medal of the skunkiest beer award, but,,,,, it's Very very good. Light, refreshing & a very pleasant brew to enjoy, I think I caught a hint of a light citrus-y taste. Effervescent yet still manly, a ladies guilty (non light beer) pleasure. Andy said it was interesting that the foam continued with us the entire drink. He liked it. So, this was fun. I hope to be a guest blogger again. Maybe when we get to the British areas. As always, your faithful tastebuds, Iron Chef.

Monday, August 18, 2008

100 Beers in 100 Days - And The Award Goes Too...

Day 34 - Steinlager

And the award for "Skunkiest Beer In The World" goes to the New Zealand Beer Steinlager.

So now go drink something spicy to get that nasty taste out of your mouth and then go to

Sunday, August 17, 2008

100 Beers in 100 Days - Day 33

Tiger Beer

Hey Beer Heads, remember how I said that Budweiser is a bad attempt at copying Bitburger? Well clearly Tiger Beer from Singapore is the Asian Pacific Brewery's bad attempt at copying Budweiser. I can taste the specific Macro-brew nature of it. It has no hops flavor whatsoever, and there is a faint citrus smell to cover up anything bad from it's mass production. It's more drinkable than that "liquid smoke" beer I tried, but really not very good at all. I will rate this a 3 on the beer scale.

I gotta say, that I didn't really know how tough it would be to drink 100 beers in 100 days. It appears as if everyone else has lost interest in this, and now it's just me. At only 1/3 of the way through, I am having difficulty being inspired to drink another one of these crappy Asian beers. I think I will skip the Philippines and move on to something hopefully more interesting.

So now go tie one on at

Saturday, August 16, 2008

100 Beers In 100 Days - Huh, Huh, Huh, He Said Bang-Cock

Day 32 - Singha (pronounced "Sing")

Today the odyssey brings us to Bankok. It's an oriental setting and with us Beer Heads, the city don't know what the city is getting. I suppose we could call this the creme de la creme of the Asian beer world with a brewery that's got everything but Yul Brenner. Time flies -- doesn't seem a minute since the Tirolean spa had us beer boys in it. All change -- don't you know that when you drink at this level there's no ordinary venue. No matter about the actual city of Bankok. One town's very like another when your head's down over your beer mug, brother. Though you might think it's a drag, it's a bore, it's really such a pity to be looking at the beer, not looking at the city. Get Thai'd! You're talking to a guest whose every move's among the drunkest. I get my kicks above the barstool, sunshine.

Well at any rate beer heads, Singha is just another Asian lager. It has a citrus smell as soon as you open the bottle and then it's just a blah beer after that. It ain't good, but it that bad either. Iron Chef was equally as unispired for comment as I am. I will rate this one a 5.

So now go tie one on with all of your friends at

Friday, August 15, 2008

100 Beers in 100 Days - Back in Nam...

Day 31 - 33 Export (It only just occured to me that I should have saved this until the 33rd day)

In honor of the Beer Odyssey bringing us to Ho Chi Mihn City, I have decided to teach you some of the cool Army hand signals that are seen in all the best Vietnam War movies.


"Get Down"

"I see"


"Enemy soldiers"

"With rifles"

Those are really cool to know aren't they? So now in honor of drinking 33 Export beer tonight, I am going to show some of the more common hand signals used in bars.

"Hey Bro' let's get a drink."

"Yo bartender"



"Hey, what do you mean..."

"...That I shouldn't have started drinking tonight?"

"I thought you were the designated driver!"

So now that you are more versed in Army and Bar sign language than Hellen Keller, go to

Thursday, August 14, 2008

100 Beers in 100 Days - Day 30

Kirin Ichiban Special Premium Reserve

Here we are in Japanese city of Kirin. Brewery here longtime leader in Japanese beer. Kirin Ichiban is good beer, but have strange after taste. Maybe rice in beer. Me not know. It taste lot like Bud. Maybe because distrubuted by Anheiser Busch. Iron Chef say beer smooth. I say this asian man broken english starting to sound like Indians in old cowboy movies. I rate it 6 on beer scale.

Now go

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

100 Beers in 100 Days - Guest Speaker

Day 29 - Asahi Super Dry Beer

Today Beer Heads we find ourselves in Tokyo Japan. We also have the below special guest speaker to talk about Asahi Dry Beer.

You heard the girl. Go to

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

100 Beers in 100 Days - Why Did The Beer Odyssey Come From The East? The Cypress Tree In The Garden.

Day 28 - Tsingtao (pronounced ching-dow)

Today the beer odyssey brings us to the Shandong (pronounced wang-dong) region of China to try Tsingtao Beer. Tsingtao Beer is a super happy golden lager. It is made from people who have been up the Yellow River (or at least once in the 80's, but they did not like it). It has a faint smell of Beijing smog with a flavor that is as cheap as Chinese made merchandise. It was an average lager where all the ancient Chinese brewing secrets were obviously discarded in the making of this beer. I will rate it a 5 on the beer scale. [insert gong sound here]

So now bow to your sensei and then go drink a few with your friends at

Monday, August 11, 2008

100 Beers in 100 Days - A Brewski For My Comrades

Day 27 - Red East Beer

We continue our beer odyssey in Russia today with Red East Beer. After tasting some pretty good stuff in small countries like Lithuania, and Czech Republic, I was somewhat surprised at just how crappy this beer is. It's merely a 4 on the beer scale. I didn't much like the taste, but I did like how it looked in the glass. So here it is for you to admire also.

So now go drink a few brewski's with all of your comrades at

Sunday, August 10, 2008

100 Beers in 100 Days - Day 26

Baltika Porter

Today beer heads we head to the other side of the "Iron Curtain" to the edge of the Russian Siberia to the city formerly known as Leningrad, which was the city formerly known as Petrograd, which was the city formerly known as Saint Petersburg, and incidentally now has it's origianl name of Saint Petersburg again. Baltika Porter is a nice heavy dark beer with a lot of great flavor. Iron Chef said it was very robust and had a slight fruity flavor. We both like it and I will rate it a 6 on the beer scale.

So now go tie one on with all of your comrades at

100 Beers in 100 Days - Bet This Is Good With Chicken

Day 25 - Obolon Magnat Ale

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have officially entered the Eastern Hemisphere as the Beer Odyssey brings us to the Ukrainian city of Kiev.

The Obolon Brewery is very young by brewery standards as it has only been in operation since 1980. This brewery that draws it's water from an artesian well made history when it became the first company in the Ukraine to escape the grip of government control to become privatized.

Iron Chef was unavailable to taste test this one with me so I brought in my friend (lets call him) Icehouse to help review. Hey, this guy can drink a 24 pack and not be phased, he's gotta be a beer professional. We both thought the smell was a little Bud-like, but we immediately liked the taste and smoothness. Icehouse said he could drink a case of it and definitely not be disappointed, and I thought it was much more worthy of being called a prestigious beer than Beck's or Heiny. Obolon Magnat Ale is a really good beer. As far as the specific taste, see "Day 24 - Kalnapilis". The interesting thing about this beer is that it's packaged in the beer bottle equivalent of a mood ring because the label changes color with temperature. This way you know the beer is properly chilled when the "Obolon" on the label magically appears, which I think is pretty cool even though it's already been done with Coors. We liked it and will rate it a 7 on the beer scale.

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