The mall that I shop at has a large bulk sales grocery and home goods store as one of its anchor stores. This store is the only of its type within about a 50 mile radius which means it gets a lot more customers than a normal grocery store. More customers’ means more shopping carts in the lot. As a result, the kid that retrieves the carts from the parking lot gets to use this remote controlled cart lugging thing to make life easier.
So I go to pull into a parking space near the front door and this stupid kid drives his cart lugger into my space and I end up having to go to the far end of the row to park. As I was walking toward the front door of the mall, the kid walks past me to go retrieve this one lone cart that was left out by where I had to park. At the same time I notice what appears to be a key in the back of the lugger that turns it on and off. Yep, you guessed it; I “stole” the key when he wasn’t looking. Well I didn’t really steal it. I just inconspicuously moved it to a new location behind some bushes.
Now seriously, I was just hoping to piss off the kid by making him have to go all the way back to the store to get some theoretical spare key from his angry manager, or so I thought. Yep you guessed it; they only had one key and the lugger is just a useless collection of metal and plastic without it. So what did the kid and the manager do?
They reported it to those fake cops at the mall. (Dude, you knew that was coming) And how do I know this? Because one of the mall cops actually stopped me and asked if I had seen…well…ME! Unfortunately, I am not able tell when too much is too much. So I played the role of a concerned citizen willing to help him find the guy he described as me. Surprisingly, after only about 15 minutes walking the mall beat, we found 5 other guys that he thought for sure were the culprit.
So I go to pull into a parking space near the front door and this stupid kid drives his cart lugger into my space and I end up having to go to the far end of the row to park. As I was walking toward the front door of the mall, the kid walks past me to go retrieve this one lone cart that was left out by where I had to park. At the same time I notice what appears to be a key in the back of the lugger that turns it on and off. Yep, you guessed it; I “stole” the key when he wasn’t looking. Well I didn’t really steal it. I just inconspicuously moved it to a new location behind some bushes.
Now seriously, I was just hoping to piss off the kid by making him have to go all the way back to the store to get some theoretical spare key from his angry manager, or so I thought. Yep you guessed it; they only had one key and the lugger is just a useless collection of metal and plastic without it. So what did the kid and the manager do?
They reported it to those fake cops at the mall. (Dude, you knew that was coming) And how do I know this? Because one of the mall cops actually stopped me and asked if I had seen…well…ME! Unfortunately, I am not able tell when too much is too much. So I played the role of a concerned citizen willing to help him find the guy he described as me. Surprisingly, after only about 15 minutes walking the mall beat, we found 5 other guys that he thought for sure were the culprit.
He ended suspecting me though, because I couldn’t stop laughing.
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