How NOT To Discipline A Puppy

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Well kids, since Fred Phelps of the WBC doesn’t appear to be responding to the last e-mail, I have decided to try something different. I am going to start posting funny and/or warped questions on different forums.

I jokingly posted the below question on Yahoo Answers to see what kind of response I would get. I would love to be able to post the full answer from each person, but since the question forum was deleted within 2 hours of being posted, all I have is the preview of each answer that was e-mailed to me as they were made. Props go out to chaosmanone for actually reading past the first two sentences.

Question:

What is the maximum voltage a 2 lb puppy can withstand? I am planning to make a taser for disciplining my wife’s puppy. I want to make it out of one of those invisible fences, but those are designed for larger outside dogs. I know that 110 volts will give a 200 lb person a pretty good zap. If I scale that down to 1.1 volts for a 2 lb dog will that be enough? Do you think that 20 volts is enough to jolt him without stopping his little heart?

Answers:

Robyn S. wrote: You're a monster.

Country Pup wrote: how about no volts as it is animal abuse...

W. wrote: I think you are a troll who needs to use that tazer on yourself-repeatedly.

Hippie C. wrote: I think you are going to be commiting animal abuse and if you can't handle t...

Emma B. wrote: i think you are a sick son of a ***** wasting peoples time, get a life you fucki...

Magy wrote: Reported for joking about animal abuse- if you are serious about training the pu...

Chaosmanone wrote: Check the voltage on one of those shock collars. That invention has alread…

Anavswife wrote: I'd like to taser you. You're disgusting.

Cathy P. wrote: I think you are a sick individual to even consider such a thing. Obedience trai...

Agilityteen wrote: How about a clicker and some yummy treats? OR YOU COULD RETURN THE DOG TO THE BR...

J.Rose wrote: I think you are a real sicko.

Lifehappens wrote: Thanks for the 2pts.....reported

Awesome_silver_33 wrote: Surely you cant be serious , how dare you even think of such a thing , how's...

Singleworker1230 wrote: Go to a dog training class and learn how to train dogs properly. Unless you fee...

I think it’s interesting how many people immediately judged me as an evil person without even asking if I have even tried the lighter forms of punishment. I am also surprised that not one person even recommended checking with a professional first, or at the very least pointed out that there may be serious physical reasons why invisible fences aren’t made for smaller dogs.
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Even though I know it’s a joke, I feel like such a heel for what these people think of my fake identity’s inhumane suggestion. I think maybe my fake identity should stand in the corner until next week’s blog post is published.