Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I'm probably going to hell for this.

Once again I have decided to post a ludicrous question at an online forum in order to watch people go ape shlizt over it. I asked the following question to the members of a Christian forum under the heading “Scriptural Questions”. I got more than 651 replies to this question. I was hoping it would get up to 666 so I could add a reply that would make reference to it, but I think the site closes out threads after a certain period of time. I can’t post them all, but here are my top 10 favorite answers in no particular order. I added some commentary in parenthesis.
In the official bible of my local church: ‘The Divine Tome of Satanic Ritual”, we satanic worshipers are instructed to burn the holy sepulcher of the house of David. Can anyone explain to me exactly what that means?
1. No. (Then why did this person reply?)

2. That not a church, that’s a occult. You should get out of there fast.

3. At this church do they sing Ozzy songs for hymms? (Right before we bite the heads off bats)

4. You think that’s funny you little Bassterd? (??? That’s not a Christian-like answer)

5. Satanits r stupid and so r u.

6. Thats probably HOME and not TOME.

7. Hey buddy that word is spelled SCEPTOR. (Really?)

8. Can you explain to me why you want to go to hell you satanist?

9. We can’t answer questions about satanic scripture here. (And I got 651 answers that prove that)

10. If you burn those things down it will probably be terrorism.

You aren’t missing anything with just these 10 replies. For the most part the others were pretty dull reading.

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