Monday, June 16, 2008

The Search Is Over, You've Finally Found...Well...This Stupid Blog

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I almost didn’t post this because another blogger beat me to the punch, but then I realized how petty that would look. So here it is. Thanks to the technological wonder that is Google Analytics, I bring you the top 10 funniest searches that brought people to my blog.

1. Shaved Brittany Spears naked – I am not sure what part of Brittany this person wanted to see shaved. I want to say that they were hoping she shaved her lower regions at the same time as her head, but then again there is some weird stuff in internet porn so maybe they actually like to see bald headed naked chicks.

2. Racism at Best buy – The search criteria isn’t funny. What’s funny is the fact that 466 people typed in that search, and spent more than 3 hours reading the blog post about me being singled out by electronics salesmen just because I am nerdy looking.

3. Global warming joke, or global warming jokes, or “global warming jokes”, or “global warming” jokes, or 2007 global warming jokes, or globle warming jokes, or globule warming jokes, or earth warming jokes, or global earth warming jokes, or global+warming+jokes, or global warming+joke, or global warming funny jokes, or global warming solution jokes, or global warming theory jokes, or global-warming jokes, or very good global warming jokes, or any of the very many other variations of this search that brought a lot of people to my blog back in the summer of 2007. – My theory behind all these searches is that Al Gore first thought he would try the humor approach to addressing the attendees of that Global Warming concert last summer.

4. It news to me – Either Tarzan got hooked up online, or it’s another functionally illiterate web surfer who stumbled on my blog.

5. Make up your mind – Am I that indecisive that Google directs all traffic originated by searches from people who ask some non-specified person to make up their mind? Seriously, Google sent 137 people to my site after they typed that into a search bar.

6. Anal schtick comedy – On the one hand I am thrilled that Goggle sent somebody my way because they were searching for something funny, but on the other hand I am now self conscience that Google associates my blog with anything anal.

7. Composition of water vapor – I wonder if this person was surprised to eventually find out that water vapor is made up WATER that is a VAPOR.

8. Where to buy Bin Laden decoy – Maybe at the Wal-Mart in Baghdad right next to a 100 count pack of suicide bomb fuses.

9. Why are hypocritical Christians so condescending – Because they are no different inside than people who condescendingly call Christians hypocritical?

10. Fastest way to spread language – With a butter knife, of course.

For some reason I got that song from the Letterman show stuck in my head now. You know the one. They play it at the end of the top ten lists when the announcer says something about World Wide Pants Incorporated?
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So now that you know what brings people to my blog, click on this link and see what brings me to Humor-Blogs.com on an almost daily basis.

4 comments:

cathouse teri said...

Well, I think you already know how I found you! Thanks for dropping by, Andy. :)

The Hypocritical One said...

That's damn funny right there.
I need to start focusing on the important keywords to get people to drop by--anal, shaved...yikes. I think my Mom reads my blog.

Arpeggio Andy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Arpeggio Andy said...

Thanks for dropping by. I don't even remeber writing anything about those keywords. Those people for the most part didn't even read my blog. They just stopped by for a fraction of a second and then left when they realized it was a blog.

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